Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.

The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.

Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.

Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.

NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.

Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you're on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. That's empathy. No words - just being with that energy. When I connect with what's alive in another person, I have feelings similar to when I'm surfing.

As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.