Every message, regardless of form or content, is an expression of a need.

We need empathy to give empathy.

If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they will be met.

Keep in mind that other people's actions can never 'make' you feel any certain way. Feelings are your warning indicators.

We are responsible for what we hear other people say and for how we act.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss." We begin to feel this bliss when messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunities to give to people who are in pain.

If people just asked: "Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs?" the conflict would be easy to resolve.