Most of us live in a Jackal world where we take turns using the other person as a waste basket for our words.

Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.

As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.

When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving.

An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves-the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place.

In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.

My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.