Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

Empathy: Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being

If you think ahead to what to say next - like how to fix it or make the person feel better - BOOM! Off the board. You're into the future. Empathy requires staying with the energy that's here right now. Not using any technique. Just being present. When I have really connected to this energy, it's like I wasn't there. I call this "watching the magic show". In this presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal anything, and this relieves me from my "fix-it" tendencies.

We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own.

Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.

Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear their analysis.