Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.
I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.
You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend.
I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.
Could be worse... Could be raining
Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.