Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

Money can't buy poverty.

Could be worse... Could be raining

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.