Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Did you hear something?" "No." "Did I hear something?" "...I don't know.

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

I've been deadline-driven for my whole grown-up life, and that hasn't gone away. It is nice to be able to reflect about the big picture, about what kind of stories you want to tell, and how to take advantage of success.

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!

A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things.