Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson

Today is the first day of the rest of your short, brutish existence as a sentient creature before being snuffed out into utter nothingness for all eternity.

I would prefer to listen to a French classical composer like Olivier Messiaen than to the pop hits of the day.

Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you! — Russ Cargill

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?