Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

I judge my life by how miserable it used to be. If I could pay my rent, I was deliriously happy. Now I'm deliriously happy all the time.

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.

'The Simpsons' was about children and married parents; 'Futurama' is about people in between; they're growing up and haven't settled down. Every other cartoon show seemed to be, you know, dumb dad, bratty kids.

When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries.

If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.

Part of the fun of being alive is knowing that you're annoying the hell out of someone else.