Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it.

I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain.

Oftentimes, what seems to be a street lunatic charging at me spouting gibberish turns out to be a devoted 'Simpsons' fan quoting their favorite line.

If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.

Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.

Lisa: 'Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?' Homer: 'Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.'

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.