Air transport is just a glorified bus operation.

One of the weaknesses of the company now is it is a bit cheap and cheerful and overly nasty, and that reflects my personality.

I'm paid about 20 times more than the average Ryanair employee and I think the gap should be wider. I probably work 50 times harder. I think I'm the most underpaid and underappreciated airline boss in Europe.

Get back to work you slacker or you're fired.

I'm here with Howard Millar and Michael Cawley, our two deputy chief executives. But they're presently making love in the gentleman's toilets, such is their excitement at today's results.

Ryanair's biggest achievement? Bringing low fares to Europe and still lowering em. Biggest failure? Hiring me.

We think passengers who forget to print their boarding passes should pay €60 for being so stupid.