MBA students come out with: 'My staff is my most important asset.' Bullshit. Staff is usually your biggest cost. We all employ some lazy bastards who needs a kick up the backside, but no one can bring themselves to admit it.

I should get the Nobel peace prize - screw Bono.

I came into business to make money, I make no apology for that. I wanted to make a lot of money but after the first £50million or £100million, it became less about making money and more about having fun.

I'm here with Howard Millar and Michael Cawley, our two deputy chief executives. But they're presently making love in the gentleman's toilets, such is their excitement at today's results.

The European Union spends most of its time either suing me, torturing me, criticizing me or condemning me for lowering the cost of air travel all over Europe.

The unions need to be taken on. British Airways is massively over-staffed and has got to get its costs down. . . . The problem for [chief executive] Willie Walsh is that the board of BA has no spine, no balls and no vision.

If drink sales are falling off, we get the pilots to engineer a bit of turbulence. That usually spikes sales.