The Germans will crawl bollock-naked over broken glass to get low fares.

It's a great incentive to work long hours. I limit the holiday to two weeks and then get the hell back to the office. If I had my choice I wouldn't take holidays but my wife insists on time with the kids. That's enough. Prior to getting married I never took a holiday.

People say the customer is always right, but you know what - they're not. Sometimes they are wrong and they need to be told so.

Anyone who thinks Ryanair flights are some sort of bastion of sanctity where you can contemplate your navel is wrong. We already bombard you with as many in-flight announcements and trolleys as we can.

The airline business is it is mostly run by a bunch of spineless nincompoops who actually don't want to stand up to the environmentalists and call them the lying wankers that they are.

If drink sales are falling off, we get the pilots to engineer a bit of turbulence. That usually spikes sales.

Code-sharing, alliances, and connections are all about "how do we screw the poor customer for more money?"