If global warming meant temperatures rose by one or two degrees, France would become a desert, which would be no bad thing. The Scots would grow wine and make buffalo mozzarella.

Ryanair's biggest achievement? Bringing low fares to Europe and still lowering em. Biggest failure? Hiring me.

‎‎‎‎Short of committing murder, negative publicity sells more seats than positive publicity.

Are we going to say sorry for our lack of customer service? Absolutely not.

We think passengers who forget to print their boarding passes should pay €60 for being so stupid.

The police force were outstanding in their field. But all they did was stand in their field. They kept passengers on board while they played with a suspect package for two and three quarter hours. Extraordinary.

The European Union spends most of its time either suing me, torturing me, criticizing me or condemning me for lowering the cost of air travel all over Europe.