I'm here with Howard Millar and Michael Cawley, our two deputy chief executives. But they're presently making love in the gentleman's toilets, such is their excitement at today's results.

MBA students come out with: 'My staff is my most important asset.' Bullshit. Staff is usually your biggest cost. We all employ some lazy bastards who needs a kick up the backside, but no one can bring themselves to admit it.

I'm disrespectful towards authority. I think the prime minister of Ireland is a gobshite.

The French have never produced a great philosopher. Great wine maybe, but no great philosophers.

The most influential person in Europe in the last 20 to 30 years has been Margaret Thatcher. Without her we'd all be living in some French bloody unemployed republic.

One of the weaknesses of the company now is it is a bit cheap and cheerful and overly nasty, and that reflects my personality.

We want to annoy the whenever we can. The best thing we can do with environmentalists is shoot them.