It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.

Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.

Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.

When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.

The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong; this explains why he can't relate to other people.

C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.

When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.