Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?

Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since "trump" means "triumph." One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.

Donald Trump's hairpiece has reportedly narrowed its list of running partners down to Don King, Kramer, William Shatner, Dolly Parton and Phil Spector, and has no worries about being upstaged.

Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: "I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End."

Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.

Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.

Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped; every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.