Clark Gable once said to me, "'Acting school?' [If you go,] I'll kill ya!"

. . . children - not kids. Kids are goats. I've always spoken of my children as children.

I'm 74 but I feel like I'm 35. And it isn't work. You know what it is? It's fun, absolute fun. I don't know many people who are fortunate enough to be in a business like that.

Hey kids! Let's put on a show!

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.

Women liked me because I made them laugh.

When I was 19 years old, I was the number one star of the world for two years. When I was 40, nobody wanted me.