Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be.
Being neurotic is like shooting fish in a barrel, and missing them.
The plague of government is senile delinquency.
With each passing year, one has less to say, and knows better how to say it.
If your children spend most of their time in other people's houses, you're lucky; if they all congregate at your house, you're blessed.
Naturally, the neurotic wants you to love him twice as much, for he's going to cut it in half anyway.