I've been hiding from God, and I'm appalled to find how easy it is.

People find it hard to be both comic and serious, though life manages it easily enough.

Always live up to your standards — by lowering them, if necessary.

There's nothing wrong with most men's egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can't cure.

It's awesome to realize that if your greatest potential talent is for riding a bicycle upside down on a high wire, you will somehow discover it.

We cough because we can't help it, but others do it on purpose.

We're seldom drawn to a character we admire; only to a personality we like.