Mike Judge Quotes

There was a time when cell animation was poison, but after Family Guy now everyone wants it.

When you work for other people you'll find ... that they do know what's best for them, and for the company. And you should listen to them and be respectful, but they don't know what's best for you.

I actually saw a kid and went home and drew him. I don't even know who he was. I was buying a TV set in Circuit City. I was looking at this kid and he was kind of standing there, staring off into space. Kids are pretty chubby nowadays because of all the fast-food places. I grew up eating fast food but now everything is double beef and double cheese. So there are a lot of these chubby boys with long, baggy shorts.

Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?

It's amazing what we can get away with and what we can't. But it's not for me to decide.

I'm fine watching stuff on tape, to me casting is the most painful part of the whole process, it's like going on a horribly awkward date every five minutes for eight hours, and people come in and they'll be someone good but they're not right, and you want to tell them they're good, but it sounds like BS, and they're looking at your face to see how they did, what adjustments they need, and it's just so emotionally draining, and it goes on and on.

Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it.

I like the Stooges. You know what movie I saw that I sort of discovered late was Jerry Lewis in 'The Nutty Professor'. I really liked that.

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

It kind of hit me at some point during the process that most people in the film business - not just the executives, the people who make them, too - tend to come from pretty upper-class backgrounds. If they go work a job, it's to have that experience, that sort of thing. After they graduate college, they have time to go visit Europe and take some time off and get their heads together. That kind of thing, I sure didn't have.

I don't return anybody's calls unless it's going to mean extra money for me. And I've completely cut off all relationships with any friends that I had before the show. And I've copped an attitude.

Sometimes I go to a test screening and look at the audience in line, and I start to go, "Okay, I bet this is going to work, and this isn't going to work." It's weird, but just going and facing the music and putting it out before a crowd, even before it starts playing, that exercise of putting it up on a screen for people makes you realize things even before it starts rolling. It's really weird. I've heard other people say that, too.

I often feel that my life, much like my shows, will end on a cliffhanger.

All the Disney lead male characters always have this kind of John Davidson kind of look to them. They all look like the same guy, and all the females look like the same, and I think the guys are just way too big.

You ought to try being cruel to some people.

I probably drive casting people crazy because I'm not thinking about actors so much as real people.

Then there was a kid in the neighborhood about three blocks away, his name was Bobby Beavis.

One thing I always heard from the begining when I talked about this being a movie - was that the rule is that animated movies don't work unless they're Disney movies for kids. Unless they're family movies.

I've seen a lot of pairs of guys that have been hanging out together way too long-until they're laughing all the time.

I went to a Catholic high school and it seemed like every time I drew something for a class project, it either got thrown away by the teacher or something.

It seems like there's a lot of people who just do not understand satire. They think it's weird. There's people who just don't understand you portray something or just explore a character, it means you're condoning it, saying this is the way to live.

You look at material a different way when your ass is on the line financially for it. You want to know where the big laughs are, and how we're going to sell this.

They say it figures MTV would do such a vulgar, awful, horrible show and they completely miss that it's satirizing the people who watch MTV.

Susie Lynn, the producer of those segments, goes in and lays all the voices over the video.

Yeah, sometimes it gets a little sappy for me, but I'm tired of hearing about dysfunctional families in sitcoms. That's been done to death, and that's probably what everybody expected from me. But that's not what I wanted to do.

It was really weird, when this thing started, to hear lawyers and MTV people calling me and actually saying 'ButtHead.' People tried to avoid it too.

I don't think any movie I would do would be too serious or serious at all.

One thing I was thinking about is that they probably get their come-uppance about the same percentage that people in real life do. Basically, stealing for all practical purposes might as well be legal in New York.

When I worked in those offices, it was just irritating to me that somebody sat there and designed this place, never thinking that you would walk from here to there, and they didn't care. The one guy designs it, gives it to the other guy, he looks at it; no one thinks about all the people that gotta walk through it. So I think the best way to show those banal moments is to be just flat and wide.

I'm sorry I can't get into Scooby Doo on any level.

When you make movies, you've picked the most expensive art form, and somebody has to pay for it. You kind of owe it to them to at least let them know how you expect to make it as accessible to as many people as you can, given the story you're telling.

Beauty and the Beast seemed like it all was really brown. The whole thing was just so brown and orange and yellow, like Burger King or something. I don't think I would have liked Beauty and the Beast at any age.

I think I'm optimistic, yeah, especially in real life, but I think it's funny to be pessimistic.

Who is Mike Judge? Let me think. The only way I could possibly answer that question would be in a nonverbal fashion. I think I could do an interpretive dance that would answer that question for you.