Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, "It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift."

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

A thing of beauty is a job forever.

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.