I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton BerleI was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, "It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift."
Milton BerleA man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle