Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

When I was in school, one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher, "I wish he was my kid for one day!"

I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, "It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift."

I wanted to get the guy who works next to me in the office something he really wants, but how do you wrap up a saloon?