Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

I just read about a schoolteacher who got hurt. She was grading papers on a curve!

She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.

Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!