When I was in school, one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher, "I wish he was my kid for one day!"

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!

Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.