For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.

They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.

Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.

The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until you get to school.

Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.

Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.