For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work.

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.