For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.

I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.

Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy.

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.