I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, "It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift."

She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.

Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.