I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.

I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.

An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.

My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe.

I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.