I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, "It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift."

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

We inherit a lot from our parents: mom's eyes, dad's chin, and the attitude of whichever parent isn't punishing you at the moment. All of those things we have our mom's to thank for."If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?