I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.

My wife... its difficult to say what she does... she sells seashells on the seashore.

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, "Gday Gday how you doing no worries next".

The pollen count, now that's a difficult job. Especially if you've got hay fever.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

Why did we get together? Because God wanted us to do it. We were just trying to do what God wants us to do. We didn't feel like we had much of a choice.