When my daughter was born she had jaundice, she was small, round and yellow. we called her Melony.

I recently bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back, Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the TV!

It's difficult isn't it, when you're in a Mosque and everyone's praying and you really enjoy leapfrog.

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

The pollen count, now that's a difficult job. Especially if you've got hay fever.

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon... But it never really took off.

I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it.