You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.

You know I used to work at Ikea, selling over 7,000 products. Give me a number between 1-7,000 I'll tell you about it. Sorry out of stock, lucky you chose that one.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.

I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying "I don't want to bore you with the details".

If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, bee keepers are going to be furious.

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, "Gday Gday how you doing no worries next".