I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices to pay for my education... because they were both druids.

I've got a bit of Scottish Blood... On my kitchen knife!!

I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it.

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

My wife... its difficult to say what she does... she sells seashells on the seashore.