The pollen count, now that's a difficult job. Especially if you've got hay fever.

The school had a big problem with drugs... especially Class A.

My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better

I have a nut allergy. When I was at school the other children used to make me play Russian roulette but force-feeding me a packet of Revels.

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.

About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.

Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do, he spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment, probably turning in his grave.