My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better

The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.

So I phoned up the spiritual leader of tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I phoned dial a lama.

We use similar products. Our focus industry is healthcare and hospitality. But we haven?t done anything interactive. The first day full of seminars is full of things I thought would be useful: quick service restaurant and mobile phone applications. Businesses are providing more services and products by self-service means.

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.