My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better

It's difficult isn't it, when you're in a Mosque and everyone's praying and you really enjoy leapfrog.

You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.

Incredible to think isn't it, that every single Scotsman, started off as a scotch egg. Old and gingery.

As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, "Gday Gday how you doing no worries next".

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon... But it never really took off.