The school had a big problem with drugs... especially Class A.

The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

I've got a bit of Scottish Blood... On my kitchen knife!!

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.