A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.

When my daughter was born she had jaundice, she was small, round and yellow. we called her Melony.

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

I've got a bit of Scottish Blood... On my kitchen knife!!

I have a nut allergy. When I was at school the other children used to make me play Russian roulette but force-feeding me a packet of Revels.