I've got a bit of Scottish Blood... On my kitchen knife!!

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.

Why did we get together? Because God wanted us to do it. We were just trying to do what God wants us to do. We didn't feel like we had much of a choice.

My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better

I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.

You know I used to work at Ikea, selling over 7,000 products. Give me a number between 1-7,000 I'll tell you about it. Sorry out of stock, lucky you chose that one.

The pollen count, now that's a difficult job. Especially if you've got hay fever.