I've got a bit of Scottish Blood... On my kitchen knife!!

The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying "I don't want to bore you with the details".

If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, bee keepers are going to be furious.

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, "Gday Gday how you doing no worries next".