I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying "I don't want to bore you with the details".

I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying "I don't want to bore you with the details".

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!

The school had a big problem with drugs... especially Class A.

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.