If you're depressed and called Morgan spend the first half of the day in Germany for some positive affirmation.

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, "Gday Gday how you doing no worries next".

If you're depressed and called Morgan spend the first half of the day in Germany for some positive affirmation.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it.