I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else.

I miss the $2 bill, 'cause I can break a two. $20, no. $10, no. $5, maybe, $2? Oh yeah. What do you need, a one and another one?

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes.

I'm not into sports. I mean...I like Gatorade, but that's as far as it goes.

I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.

I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end.