I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else.

I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I need to dial 9 I say Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

That would be cool if the earth's crust was made out of graham cracker. It would disappear just like the ozone layer, but for completely different reasons.

I have an oscillating fan at my house. It goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "no." So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to! Do you keep my hair in place? Do you keep my documents in order? Do you have 3 settings? LIAR! My fan lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you're not saying ANYTHING!