I thought I'd go to a craft fair, and there would be a jar of jellybeans there - "Guess how many jellybeans are in this jar, and win a prize". Aw, come on, man, let just me have some. I'll tell you what, guess how many jellybeans I want! If you guessed a handful, you are right.

I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. "Dude who is attacking me - come a little closer!"

Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss

Snake eyes is a gambling term, and an animal term, too.

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.

I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.