We don't have to fix anything.

If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.

When you go to a bar that has a black light, everybody looks cool. Except for me, because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out.

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying.

I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.

I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.

If you're a fish and you want to be a fish-stick, you have to have very good posture.