I’d like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It’d be so damn literal! You are using that machine to it’s exact purpose!

Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says on the bottle, do not have more than two. Then why do they have a candy coating? I cannot help myself. Let me have ten Advil, I have a sweet tooth.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!

The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique.

I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.

Then let's print up some flyers!