Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says on the bottle, do not have more than two. Then why do they have a candy coating? I cannot help myself. Let me have ten Advil, I have a sweet tooth.

If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"

I can read minds, but I'm illiterate.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.

Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?