I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me."

I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station?

A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.

I cannot tell you what hotel I'm staying at, but there are two trees involved.

I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This bedroom has an oven in it. This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is over in that other guy's house.

I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all.