Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8?

A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying.

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.

Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and around. I can't do a back flip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys.

I like it when people come to see me again, but you end up playing to that person only. You know there's other people out there, but you also know that the person who came to see you again is there. You're like, "I hope he's happy again."

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.