I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I went to the airport, I put my bag in the x-ray machine, I found out my bag has cancer. It only has six more months to hold stuff.

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill.

I am wearing a vest. If I had no arms, it would be a jacket.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.