I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.

I'm into carpooling, because sometimes my car gets hot and needs to refresh itself.

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

A lot of bands have intense names, like "Rigor Mortis" or "Mortuary". We weren't that intense, we called ourselves "Injured". Later on we changed it to "Acapella" when we were walking out of the pawn shop.