Every McDonald's commercial ends the same way: Prices and participation may vary. I wanna open a McDonald's and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald's owner. "Cheeseburgers?" "Nope! We got spaghetti, and blankets."

If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!"

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.

I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.

A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!"

I can't eat spaghetti. There's too many of them.