Every McDonald's commercial ends the same way: Prices and participation may vary. I wanna open a McDonald's and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald's owner. "Cheeseburgers?" "Nope! We got spaghetti, and blankets."

I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient. I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's.

My manager said, "Don't use liquor as a crutch!" I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk.

If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.

I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.