I would like it if four people did a cartwheel all at once... so I can make a cart.

I would not want to be a mobile home repo man. Those would be hard to sneak away - "Knock knock - Hi, would you go cut your grass and look that way for a half an hour?"

If you're a fish and you want to be a fish-stick, you have to have very good posture.

I had to take a physical to do this show. They had a lot of weird questions like, "Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"

Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine.

On a traffic light green means 'go' and yellow means 'yield', but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on,' yellow means 'go ahead,' and red means, 'where the hell did you get that banana at?'

Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says on the bottle, do not have more than two. Then why do they have a candy coating? I cannot help myself. Let me have ten Advil, I have a sweet tooth.