I tried to freshen up a room, so I held a Certs in front of a fan.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

I got an ant farm; them fellas didn't grow sh*t.

I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning! That's simple. 14 year old boys working twelve hour days? "Yeah, but they're comfortable!"

I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.

If you are flammable and have legs, you are not blocking a fire exit.

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.