If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

I saw a seagull hanging out by a lake, but I said, "Don't worry, Dude. I won't say anything."

I know people who believe in ghosts but don't believe in themselves.

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.

I tried to have a cookie, and this girl said, "I'm mailing those cookies to my friend." So I couldn't have one. You shouldn't make cookies untouchable.

XM radio doesn't have commercials, so after about thirty minutes of listening to it, I'm like, "What should I buy?"

I had to take a physical to do this show. They had a lot of weird questions like, "Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"