Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit, get this away from me!"

I'm into carpooling, because sometimes my car gets hot and needs to refresh itself.

This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard. The mailman will get shot, the envelope will not seal, the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. The final payment must be made in wampum.

The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper. Well, then they screwed up!

I had to take a physical to do this show. They had a lot of weird questions like, "Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"

I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.

I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.